I'm going to bite bite bite Doug!

Daddy has a friend named Doug that's been staying with us. I liked Doug at first. I mean, I've been sleeping next to him, sitting on his lap, and biting him. But then I found out that he said something mean about me!

Everyone says I have crazy eyes because they're just a little bit cross eyed. Well, Doug said that I looked like I had Charles Manson eyes. I don't have the eyes of a murderer!! (Well, maybe if I get my paws on that mouse Pepé who lives under the sink in the office!) I mean, really! Look at these pictures of my face and then look at Charles Manson's face at the end. Do I look like I have the face of a crazy killer?!






Oh, and the other day my parents brought home this big huge green bushy thing and put it up in the tea room. I immediately had to run over and investigate! Mom said it had something to do with a holiday called Christmas. Apparently later on there will be lots of presents under the tree that I'll get to claw and bite!
The next day my mom started hanging up round sparkly things on it and she got very angry whenever I tried to swat them off the tree. She even yelled at me when I grabbed a bunch of these wire hook thingys in my mouth and ran off with them! I just don't understand.